Audition

[dutchdoll619]

Hi im dutchdoll619 and i go on roleplays nearly everyday i have time. I heard by neomail told by medievalturkey.
Here is my role play example.
"Your highness its 12.00o'clock. You told me to wake you."
A paw shot out from the pale yellow bed sheets.
"Your highness?" Another paw shot out. Soon there we 4 paws and a tail. By this time Demetris, the servant was worried. He pulled back the covers to reveal a small white puppy. He ran downstairs.(demetris is not my charrie) And checked in the stables. Button was missing. "She hasnt" Thought Demetris.
"Woohoo!" Screamed a voice coming from the forest. It was traced to a 16 year old girl on a chesnut horse. The girls green eyes shone like the sun. Another scream rang out. This time a startled one. As two horses came together, Josie Mcglinchey
(princess) was revealed as her cloaks hood blew back to find a mass of sleek red hair.
"Demetris!" Josie exclaimed. "You um er. I i I can explain." She began. It was no use. Demitris was already dragging Button towards the palace. This time Josie thought to herself. This time im in real trouble. (done0

[Valalerin]

Logic error.

Unable to respond.

At a loss for words.

Do not return.

[engelbert]

I believe what Valalerin is trying to say is that you need to word a bit on your grammer and spelling before this type of roleplay environment is suitable for you.
There were quite a few spelling errors and not quite enough description. Because you squeezed so much into such a short post, i'm slightly confused at what is happening.

If you wish, you can post another example that you believe to be better.